Brynn Marie Evans

I’m attending the CRA-W Grad Cohort Workshop (2009) in San Mateo this weekend and so far, it’s awesome!

While there have been a number of valuable sessions for me personally (decisions about grad school, research, internships, interviewing, etc.), I especially liked the last session of the day: Being a Woman in Technology: Tackling the Problems We Face.

Here is a brief summary of the problems presented and a few tips on how to deal with them:

Problem #1. Male dominance
Example: Getting interrupted by your male colleagues; having them belittle your ideas, or ignore your comment in a meeting or class, but later propose the idea themselves.

Tips:

• When they try to poach your idea, say: “I’m glad you agree with me” or “you articulated that idea much better than I did.”
• When they interrupt you, be firm: “Let me finish!”
• When they interrupt a female friend, stand up for her [interrupt him]: “Wait a minute—I wanted to hear what she was going to say.”
• If things don’t improve, write the problem down (document it). If you have to, you can take it to your manager.

Problem #2: Male bonding
Example: Male colleagues may often get together to hang out (over coffee, lunch, beers, video games, etc.) excluding you or not considering to invite you along. The problem is that they often intermix “play” with discussions about work or technical problems that would be relevant to you, which you are otherwise missing out on.

Tips:

• Be proactive and invite yourself along the next time.
• Or be proactive and invite them out (for coffee, lunch).
• Consider learning about their recreational activity (e.g., buy Baseball for Dummies).
• If they play video games, show some interest in learning about it from them. Ask questions and have them tell you how it works. They’ll enjoy talking about it and it’ll be a good way for you to get in on their conversation.
• If the situation is hard to “break into”, confront them and tell them that they’re not including you.

Problem #3: Implicit bias
Example: Male students are asked to give presentations to lab visitors even if you’re equally (or more) qualified; Women are implicitly expected to organize the holiday party or coordinate lab events; Your advisor doesn’t include you as a co-author on a paper, but does include senior male colleagues when their work is only tangentially related (when your work is as related).

Tips:

• Be assertive and ask directly to help with a presentation.
• Remind your manager that: “Next time, I’d like to give a presentation too.”
• Before the manager even makes the decision about asking for a presenter, go to him/her and assert your interest in doing it.
• Talk to your male peers about the situation. The designated presenter may let you share the time slot.
• If your peers know about problem, convince them, as the majority group, to point out the unfairness to your manager. Make use of your allies.
• If you are targeted for helping with a task because of your (presumed) organizational skills, tell them no. Or be proactive and set up a schedule/plan where the workload gets shared equally among all members of the team.

Problem #4: Unwanted advances from students/colleagues
Example: A male colleague only has time to meet with you when no one else is around; Or he starts hitting on you, either directly or indirectly where it begins to make you feel uncomfortable.

Tips:

• Tell him you have a boyfriend.
• Lie and say you are busy (during his proposed meeting time); suggest alternate times.
• Remind him that you like being friends with him; you’re glad that you guys are good friends.
• Tell other males in your group. (Remember: use your allies).
• CC your advisor on emails when you communicate with him to schedule a meeting time (or other communication). Bringing in a third party may be useful.
• Overall: be sure to send clear signals on your part. Stop harassment early because it’s very hard to win sexual harassment suits!
• As before, document it all.

Problem #5: Romantic inclinations
Example: You and your advisor (or manager) are romantically inclined, or become interested in each other.

Tips:

• DON’T DO IT!!!
• RUN THE OTHER WAY!!
• “It’s the kiss of death!!” –anonymous
• …even if he’s beautiful…wait, computer scientists…beautiful?

Problem #6: Conference behavior
Example: Some men continually treat you as “special” when you are at conferences or social events by helping carry your bags, open the door, slide out your chair, etc.

Tips:

• “Take it all and enjoy it” –anonymous
• In seriousness: reciprocate back to create a level playing field.
• Consider accepting offers about getting escorted to places at night, though.

Remember, too: Most female scientists and engineers have male partners who are scientists and engineers. Being a woman in a technical field, many (or most) of our friends are also male. We have allies and (most likely) most of them are well-intentioned.